Sunday, September 15, 2013

Becoming Unsilenced Part 2

So part one was written on a Sunday night.... and sat in my draft folder for 5 days.

That's because when I woke up Monday morning everything changed for us.

Our run with secondary infertility was done. Finished. Finito.

I had a positive pregnancy test.

I anxiously waited two hours for Daniel to get home from work so I could break the news to him. Needless to say that was two of the longest hours of my life.

To say we were both surprised and completely shocked is an understatement. Daniel's exact words were, "is this for real??"

But beneath all the excitement I stayed cautious. I told Daniel that evening that I just had a bad feeling and was nervous. I never had this feeling with my first pregnancy. But for some reason, I did this time.

To make a long story short, four days later we spent the day at the emergency room, and soon found out that I was miscarrying.

We have such great great support through our family and close friends (and I feel very blessed that Daniel's residency program was also extremely supportive) ... and that has made this whole experience much easier to handle.  Emotionally, I had prepared myself for this from day one (remember that "gut feeling" that something wasn't right) so I actually handled the news really well. What I wasn't prepared for was the physical toll this would take on my body. Miscarriage was definitely not "as seen on TV" that's for sure. I'm on day four after finding out and today is the first day I've felt okay. It comes and goes.  We've already had one follow up visit and go again tomorrow to discuss the next steps for us.

I wanted to be open and share this with everyone because I've had so many people message me after my last post about our infertility struggles letting me know how helpful it was and letting me know that we have their thoughts and prayers. And if there's one thing I know now, it's that building these relationships with women going through similar situations is so beneficial in healing. And also that the more people we have praying for us, the better.

So yes, right now, we're taking life day by day. And we know our journey to building our family isn't over. There is a silver lining in this, and that is that we now know that we can get pregnant again... and that is such a relief for us.

So stay tuned... because we know in our hearts that our family story is just getting started.

And again I wanted to share a few links with you guys incase you're interested.
When a Friend Loses a Baby
Miscarriage Statistics
After a Miscarriage: Supporting Friends and Family Through Loss

1 comment:

  1. I love you Ms. Kandice! I have been and will continue thinking of you!!