A Day in the Life

My new job as stay at home mom is going great. Dax and I have adjusted to all the changes and things are going so smoothly.... better than I ever thought they would. It's been almost a month now since I quit working and one of the best months ever.
As cheesy as it may sound, I feel more complete, satisfied, and most surprisingly, accomplished than I have ever felt before. Accomplished.... by staying at home with my boy. I knew I would be happier, less stressed, more satisfied, and like a better mom..... but this overwhelming feeling of accomplishment is what has taken me by surprise.
I had moments of feeling accomplished while teaching... that moment when the light bulb goes off for a kid, or when they tell you they love you, or when you know you've made a difference in their day. But this completely, 100%, overwhelming sense of accomplishment has never been felt until I started staying home.  This is what I'm meant to be doing at this moment in time. There's no doubt about it.

My first week of staying home I made a plan of attack... because think about it, how easy would it be to be to just sit my little butt on the couch all day in my pj's and relax.  I settled on a routine for Dax and I that would fit us and keep up both on track with life. Here's a peak at what our day is like...

Dax wakes up anywhere between 6-7am. We have a little bit of cuddle time on the couch and he usually wants a snack (a light breakfast... think granola bar or some dried cereal). After that he usually plays for a bit while I drink some coffee and finish waking up (it's a process that takes a little bit). Usually around 8am we have actual breakfast. After breakfast I start my chores. I am my most productive in the mornings so I decided I would devote most of my morning to my chores and all of the afternoon to Dax (of course if a teachable moment arises in the morning or if he wants me to sit and play with him or read a book I'll stop what I'm doing and do that). I searched all over pinterest for a cleaning schedule to use but ended up making my own..

This seriously has worked out great and is very helpful in giving me a goal/plan for each day. We also use morning time to go on walks a couple times a week around our neighborhood. Usually around 10:30 we'll go back to Daxton's room and read some books, sing songs, and do our yoga (I bought this book and we love it... Dax will bring it to me and ask to do it). Usually after this we go outside for about an hour until lunch. Around 12:30 or 1 Dax will lay down for nap. I use nap time as me time... time to sit, relax, blog, read (this was my hubby's great idea). The rest of the afternoon is devoted to Dax. We play, do art, wrestle, sing, dance, read.... basically whatever he wants to do. I've been making sure to do a planned project with him at least every other day. I believe kids learn most through play so I don't plan a whole lot... but I do want to provide some planned experiences for him.

Not my typical art project for him but couldn't pass up some Candy Corn foot print magnets. I ended up cutting these out, laminating them, and writing "Trick or treat, smell my feet" and them and making magnets.

Fall stickers

We made a road for his car

He is starting to get really creative with his buildings.  (I made the base for the house but he hunted down all the triangles and piled them on the top of it)

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

The title shows my secret love for David Bowie (don't judge)..... but it's so so fitting.

So since the last post (only a short month ago) our lives have been so busy, full of changes and new experiences. We'll start with the biggest change for us...

Shortly after my last post we made our decision public that I would be quitting my job teaching and start my new career as a stay at home mom. This was a decision that we had been talking about and planning for quite awhile. We knew that we would be questioned about our choice by some people, therefore didn't tell anyone until after I already had my notice in and the decision was made. Luckily most people have been very supportive... at least to our face. And that's all we're asking for. They don't have to like our decision (we don't expect for anyone other than us to see why this was so important for us) but we do want them to be supportive. It's the old saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"  :)  We know 110% that this is the absolute best thing for our family at this time. We are entering a new chapter in our life where Daniel is going to be traveling every.single.week. until after Christmas. He'll be home for January but will again be gone for the entire month of February. After that we'll be moving come May for residency. Because of all this, we decided that it was very, very important for Dax to have one, stable, consistent caregiver for him at all times. We loved his daycare but it was just that... a daycare. And anyone that knows anything about daycares knows that teachers are in and out of rooms all the time. There's very little consistency and during a time of so much change at our house that's the one thing he really needs. So for the sake of Daxton's maximal social and emotional development, the decision of me staying home was an easy one. Another big factor for us was being able to take advantage of any time we can get as a family. Daniel's schedule is crazy, rarely consistent, and will be even more crazy when he starts traveling. We wanted to be able to take advantage of any time we can get as a family. He has days off here and there, hours off here and there throughout the week. If I was working and Dax as at school, we would miss out on a lot of time with Daniel. When he starts traveling for interviews me and Dax will be able to go with him to some; getting some quality family time in and getting a chance to see places that we might actually call home in a few months.
Final point is this.... yeah, we are going to be on a tight budget for 8-9 months, and yeah, we'll have some extra loan money to pay back. But that means nothing to us. Our family's well being and health are significantly more important to us, and that's all that matters.

And a brief note for all the other changes taking place for us lately and keeping us super busy! Dax has started soccer!!! It's a once a week parent/child class for 40 minutes. It's adorable. An our little man is so strange. Most people get their kids involved in these activities to interact with other kids.... but Dax needs work interacting with adults. He clams up and just doesn't function if adults, particularly young female adults (think teens and early 20s) talk to him. So for the first several weeks we would spend about half of the class on the bench watching before he would decide it was safe to play. But last week we had a break through and he played the entire time! WOOOHOOO!

This is what the first several weeks looks like. If we weren't sitting on the bench we were standing at the edge of the field, Dax frozen like a statue and us trying to encourage him to play.

The class is precious. They do the regular soccer things like running, kicking balls, making goals. But they also do games to help them follow instructions, talk about colors, and learn teamwork.

And the final thing that has been keeping us busy is interview season! Daniel has submitted his application to over 40 General Surgery residency programs across the country. The past few weeks have been full of scheduling and planning for interview travels. He is doing really good and has had a lot of offers so far. Our calendar though isn't doing so well. It's crazy full with travel plans. Daniel will be traveling every.single.week. through the end of December for interviews, with the exception of the week of Thanksgiving and Christmas (but we'll be traveling to OKC then). So needless to say, we've been busy scheduling flights, hotels, mapping out trips, researching cities & schools. The next several months is going to be crazy that's for sure.

Well that's our crazy life full of changes. I'm going to leave you with some pics of some great family time we've got to have since I've started staying home. Enjoy.... they're pretty cute.

Time fishing at the lake...

A trip to Frontier City with family...

Visiting the Cowboy Hall of Fame with family...

A tea party with my niece...

Visiting Meemaw and Pawpaw.

Two Years Old

I have so many things I'm wanting to blog about and fill you guys in on but I've been sick and now little man is sick so we haven't had much extra time.
But I wanted to make sure I got a Two Year Old update in on my little man before he changed too much (cause boy is he changing and growing fast!)

At two years old....
* Dax is 90% in height and weight. No concern about him being chunky because he's tall too. If his percentage in height was lower then we would be concerned about a 90% in weight... but he's just an all around big boy (he got mommy's height when she was little and daddy's weight)   :)
* He sleeps about 11 hours at night and takes a 2-3 hour nap during the day. He tells us when he's tired, we go through our bedtime routine, and he goes right to sleep on his own.
* Says 4 word sentences like it's nothing
* Knows most shapes (square, circle, oval, triangle, diamond, star, heart)
* Can count to 9 completely on his own.
* Loves to wash his hands.
* Loves the vacuum.
* Is starting to soak in everything daddy does and imitates him.
* He loves Eebee's Learning Adventures on Netflix
* Favorite foods are Pizza, cheese sandwich, veggie corn dogs, watermelon, strawberries, cheese, yogurt.
* Favorite snacks are "hop hops", pretzels, and "bars".
* The boy drinks water like it's going out of style.
* Favorite books are Dinosaur Diner, Noahs Ark Big Book, and Little Quacks Opposites.
* He loves bath time and likes to lay on his tummy and "swim".
* He loves sitting on the potty and reading his potty book but has only actually gone a few times.
* He loves writing with pencils, painting, and cutting with scissors.
* He loves to be outside.
* He is still a HUGE music boy. If there isn't music on he ask for it and can sing several of our favorite songs on the radio.
* His favorite kiddie song is Wheels on the Bus
* Speaking of buses, he loves school buses and gets really excited if he sees a real one on the road.
* He's not a fan of bugs.... he says "shewing bug" and wrinkles his face all up when he sees one :)
* He asks, "what's this" and "what you doing" all the time. I love it.
* He is starting to use "me" and "my" when talking about himself.
* He holds a pencil the right way and can draw a vertical line and circle.... sometimes a horizontal line.
* His best friends at school are Blake and Parker and he loves his old teacher "Miss Cupcake"  (a name he gave her randomly... her actual name is Kaitlyn).  He started in a new two year old class this week with a new teacher.
* He ADORES his cousins "CheyChey" and "Nainer". He lights up around them.
* He still is very attached to his "Nahnee"  (his blanket)  and as of Friday no longer has his binky!
* His feet are huge.... 7 extra wide.... that's right.... not just wide.... extra wide
* He knows how to unlock mommy's Ipod, slide the screen, start and work with Eebee App. all on his own.
* He doesn't have just one specific sort of toy he likes to play with (cars, trains, animals, etc).  His interest change from day to day. If someone asked me what three things Dax just loves I would say art, playing pretend, and books...... those things keep his attention the longest. Maybe he'll grow up to be analytical like his mommy & daddy :)

Two

In 11 short days our little man will be two..... and in 6 days we'll be celebrating that special day with our friends and family back in OKC!
I love planning parties, and decorating and all that hoopla.... so I've been a party planning machine for about a month now! Here are a few of the details from last years party... and here are the series of pictures from the actual party... 1, 2, and 3.
This year I wanted to have a birthday theme of something that he really enjoyed. Some possible ideas were cars, Yo Gabba Gabba, and construction.  I went to the party store for inspiration and while there figured out exactly what I wanted to do. They had some gorgeous teal, orange, yellow, and a bright green plates and napkins and such and I knew I def. wanted to use those and instantly decided on a "painting" theme for the party. This little boy LOVES to paint. I think he's going to be super creative as he gets a little older for sure. I would say it's safe to say that the "toys" that get used most in our house are markers, colored pencils, paint, and pens. He gives much more undivided attention to those items than cars or other toys for sure.
With that said.... here's a sneak peak at some of the major products for next weeks party!

The invites! Super cute and super cheap! Dax painted them so they're each different!

For the kids painting table. I'm not a big fan of the typical goody bag filled with sweets.... so we opted for something a little different!

I found this saying online so made my own little printable. They'll be throughout the party... and will find a permanent spot in his room afterwards!

I found some similar cupcake toppers online that you could buy but they were super expensive.... so I made my own :)

Our color inspiration!

Part of a banner...

Part of our center pieces!

Well that's your sneak peak!! And on a side note... anything that has paint on it Dax did himself :)   I'm super excited with how it's all coming together and I can't wait to show all of the details after the party!

Bring it on Meltdowns!

 I'm going to start this post by painting a picture for you.... a slightly terrifying, embarrassing, hilarious story..... be ready to be highly amused.

We're at Target doing our weekly grocery shopping. Things are going good... we're coming to the last few isles and things have been great. I'm pushing the cart, Daniel's grabbing the things we need, and Dax is sitting in the seat doing really well. Well we walk by the cookies... and I tend to have a sweet tooth so I ask Daniel to grab a package for us for the week. Dax likes the idea too.... so much that he immediately starts saying, "cookie! cookie!"  (ps... he never gets cookies at home so I don't know where this obsession came from). I calmly explain that they're for home and we'll have one when we get there. He cries for a few minutes... "cooookie coooookie". But then gets over it. About 2 minutes after getting over that fit he starts squirming around in his seat saying, "out". Walking around isn't a choice for him when we're in the grocery section, because it just leads to more cookie incidents. So I calmly give him the choice of sitting in the basket or in the other seat (we use the cart that has the two seats on the front of it). He whines for a minute but then decided he wants to switch to the other seat. I help him get moved over and he is calm and happy. I'm thinking "alright... disaster diverted.... we're doing good... I'm a rockstar... "  ;)  well about 5 minutes later... it starts again.... but this time we skipped over the squirming stage and went straight to the cry of "waaaalk, waaaaalk"  complete with an arched back and kicking feet. I again calmly explain that that's not a choice right now but he can sit in the cart in the other seat. Not. Happening. Luckily we're grabbing our last few things and begin heading to check out shortly after this melt down begins. We get in line and I remember that I need to go grab one more thing for Dax's party. I volunteer to take Dax so Daniel isn't left with a screaming child by himself.... because we aren't going to the grocery section so surely Dax will calm down once he gets to walk with mommy. Once again... not happening. He is so mad at this point that he doesn't want to walk any more. I carry him over to the isle I needed to go to.... screaming and arching his back the entire way.  I set him on the ground (more like lay him on the ground in order to avoid the busted-head-on-the-ground-when-I through-myself-backwards move he likes to do). I find what I need while having a screaming child on the floor at my feet. I get it and tell him that it's time to go find daddy so we can go home. I once again give him the choice... do you want to walk to find daddy or do you want me to hold you?  And once again... not happening.  So I pick up my screaming child and hold him with my right arm... superman style (similar to when a child is happy and you hold them where it looks like they're flying... only this was on my side with arms and legs flailing in hysteria while I'm doing it) and in the left arm I have a big box. Needless to say my arms were pretty full. We're close to the check out line so Daniel can see us and we make eye contact and just laugh. I try setting my very upset toddler into the back of the cart so I can help Daniel finish checking out and this only makes the very upset toddler even more upset.... grabbing at me, legs flying over the side trying to get out.... meltdown just went up a notch. So I decided I'm going to take him outside and we'll wait for Daniel out there. So once again... superman style gone wrong.... I carry him outside. There are some benches outside of Target about 5 feet from the door so I go set Dax on the ground by those and I sit down. The hysterical child then begins crawling... screaming all the way "Dadddddy Dadddddy" and sits at the window looking into Target. Luckily a few minutes later Daniel comes out and we head to the car. All tears and screaming stop a couple minutes after being in the car.... and Daniel and I can both breath again. We celebrated our success of not screaming at him or spanking him or even loosing our patience with him..... but I can't help but wonder what I've done wrong with my kid.

And so begins where I'm going with this post. The past several weeks Dax has been in full toddler mode... aka... Terrible Twos (not a phrase I like to use but one that most people can relate to). Meltdown after meltdown, pushing boundaries.... you think of it... he's probably tried it in the past few weeks. During these last few weeks I've often caught myself wondering if our form of discipline is doing anything at all for him.... or if we're just contributing to having more of these meltdowns in the future. We don't spank, yell, or do timeout. We reason with him, give him choices, let his actions and choices guide our decision making, and use lots and lots of patience and listening. All of these things I also do in my classes.... and I encourage the parents of my students to do them too... and it's what I studied for 5 years in college.... you can basically say I have a Bachelor of Science in Problem Solving. But the past few weeks I've questioned... for the first time ever... if what I learned and now preach actually works.

But yesterday evening I got the best confirmation that what we're doing with Dax is perfect.... and that it is working... despite having meltdown after meltdown. While browsing pinterest I found this article, "No Bad Kids- Toddler Discipline without Shame". If you have a toddler in your life at all, your own kid, niece, nephew, grandchild, friends kid, or in your class you need to read this article right now... and save it to remind yourself... because trust me... you'll need reminding. In fact I think I'm going to print it and hang it on my fridge for a reminder. It has nine main points that I'll list here but you need to go read the article to get more info about each..

1. Begin with a predictable environment and realistic expectations.
2. Don't be afraid... or take misbehavior personally.
3. Respond in the moment, calmly like a CEO.
4. Speak in first person.
5. No time out
6. Consequences
7. Don't discipline a child for crying.
8. Unconditional love
9. Spanking- NEVER

This article was such a great reminder for me. Despite 20 minute meltdowns over the smallest things.... we're doing awesome. We want him to have those meltdowns. The last two years we've done everything we could to make sure Dax became strong, independent, confident. We wanted to make sure he could think for himself, express his emotions, needs, and wants, and stand firm in what he believes and feels. And these meltdowns let us know that he's doing just that. In fact... if he wasn't having these meltdowns I should be worried that we missed something. We're doing awesome. Do I wish he could express all of the positive personality qualities in another way.... yes... that would be great. But he's two.... and that's a completely unrealistic expectation for him (point #1).

I think our society as a whole is way too wrapped up in having immediate results (and this applies to everything). Yeah, spanking or timeout or raising your voice may solve the problem a little quicker, but in the long run what is it doing? Growing a competent, well rounded person isn't something you can expect to be immediate.  You're going to take the long... sometimes hard, very hard road. But the results are going to be SO worth it in the end.

All nine points in this article are things that Daniel and I have been doing with Dax. So when Dax has a 20 minute meltdown in the future... I need to look at my fridge and remind myself that we're doing everything just the way we should... and then celebrate the fact that he is one strong, independent little boy and that will make him so successful in the future.

 I think as a parent you constantly worry about what you're doing wrong.... so from now on... bring it on meltdowns.... I'm doing everything just the way I should and you won't make me question myself again!